Facing the Fear of Commitment
Starr Jelaila For
Those on the spiritual path they have taken the decision to ascend along with Mother Earth to the 5th. Dimension, at some point come to understand what this ascension means. You realize that means clear emotional blockages and take the denser energies contained in each and transmuted into compassion. Compassion, as science has recently discovered, is what changes our DNA. In essence, decode DNA.
To clarify we must integrate our emotional blocks that create fears. In this article, I explain how I used the tools (Multidimensional Guides de la Compasión) otorgadas por mis guías del Consejo Nibiruano para empezar a clarificar las capas de mis bloqueos emocionales acerca del compromiso para que pudiera abrir mi corazón a una relación. Espero que te ayude a hacer lo mismo…Jelaila
En una calurosa y airosa tarde de Las Vegas en enero de 1998, mi compañero de vida, Jonathan y yo intercambiamos promesas. En el silencio de una encantadora y pequeña capilla, rodeados de nuestros mejores amigos, prometimos amarnos y honorarnos hasta que la muerte nos separara. Acordamos estar comprometidos en cuerpo, mente y alma a esta unión que estábamos creando en ese día especial. Mientras iba caminando de la capilla en el brazo de mi guapo compañero, I never suspected the fear that it would face in the coming months in order to keep that commitment.
Six months later in June, we decided to move to Los Angeles (the hometown of Jonathan) was the next step in our spiritual journey. With great trepidation and sadness, I sold my furniture, packed up my glass, I kissed goodbye to my youngest son and I turned my face into an uncertain future. Since I have memory usage of Los Angeles had represented me very afraid. Why?, I can not say. I had never wished to visit, let alone live there, and then there we were, the weekend of July 4, my beloved cat Biijai dozing in the back window of the car, and my new husband by my side, driving the 1700 miles to sunny LA
was emotionally agree with this move until we reached the edge of town and saw the sign saying "Entering the city limits of Los Angeles. " Then like a bizarre scene of a science fiction movie, it happened. A negative energy cloud descended on me devoured in its terrifying fog. Suddenly I felt I could not breathe. Quickly got off the windowpane struggling for breath. Inside, I struggled frantically feeling like a caged animal against his will. The emotional pain threatened to consume me.
Jonathan
When I looked, I saw a look of happiness and relief on his face. He was feeling the opposite. He was finally home! What an amazing, one of us was ecstatic happiness and the other emotionally suffocated as they entered another dark night of the soul "and I could hardly contain myself to go to his seat and strangle him! That was my welcome to the city of movies.
When I looked, I saw a look of happiness and relief on his face. He was feeling the opposite. He was finally home! What an amazing, one of us was ecstatic happiness and the other emotionally suffocated as they entered another dark night of the soul "and I could hardly contain myself to go to his seat and strangle him! That was my welcome to the city of movies.
Several days later, the rest of my belongings arrived by truck from Kansas. My glassware, clothing and other personal accessories arrived intact. There was only one disaster minor, and was behind the beginning of what would become my rash engagement ring. I opened a small plastic refractories containing my cosmetics and personal items only to find that I use to shave wax was poured. What a mess! I used a liquid called Goof-Off to remove the gum. I remember saying to myself as I sat on the floor outside the bathroom, which should take off my ring before you start cleaning, but that thought left my mind as fast as it came.
Two days later, I awoke with a strong rash under my wedding ring. Numerous blisters were not only small but itched horribly painful. Formed a ring around my finger. Immediately I attributed it to the cleaner he had used, and silently scolded me for not having removed the ring before you start to clean the wax. I got up and put anti itch cream. This alarmed me somewhat because I had never experienced anything like it before.
I decided not to take off the ring because I felt that the cream would fix the problem but did not. A week later I was still there. Finally I took off my ring because the pain from the blisters had become unbearable. I stood by my bed and I took off my ring finger while my eyes filled with tears. I felt like a total failure. Inside of me knew that this rash was not caused by the cleaner, but had been caused by my fear of commitment, my fear of being married.
After days of denial, I finally opened it and talked about the rash. With tears of frustration, I confessed I did not know what to do. Had tried to wash the ring professionally, soak it, hydrogen peroxide, boiling water, but nothing helped. Every time I tried to use my ring, the rash persisted. Only when I removed for several days, the blisters have dried, I removed the scales and the swelling disappeared.
The weeks turned into months and I still could not wear my engagement ring for more than a few hours without my finger back to the damn rash. It was embarrassing to be in public with my fingers red and swollen and my engagement ring on my right hand. I felt I had a sign on my head saying "marital failure. You can not compromise "was full of fear, remorse, guilt and shame.
Of course, another manifestation of this fear of commitment began to appear. The intimacy in our marriage disappeared. It was hard to be sexual when you're consumed with guilt because your partner knows you're keeping some part of you closed.
both started to gain weight and become ill. Jonathan had lung congestion and chronic cough, and if this were not enough, her depression returned leaving without doing anything for days at a time. I, on the other hand, had the joint of my left knee was so swollen and in so much pain I could not walk for days other than a severe pain in my upper back. Sometimes my upper back and neck muscles got so tight that I was causing me headaches spasms that lasted three days and not removed with Tylenol or Excedrin for migraines.
A finales de agosto, Jonathan había tenido que enfrentar el hecho de que su compañía de 12 años estaba a punto del fracaso. Se había asociado con dos personas varios meses antes porque quería retirarse. Ellos habían acordado comprarle la compañía, pero antes de que el trato estuviera hecho, tomaron algunas malas decisiones de negocios. Jonathan enfrentó una ruina financiera pues no le habían pagado y la compañía estaba todavía a su nombre. Como si no fuera suficiente, esta situación lo mandó directo a una depresión donde se quedó por meses. En pocas semanas lo vi transformarse del fuerte, poderoso y exitoso hombre de negocios a un compañero destruido, deprimido y sin esperanza. Su vida estaba en ruinas y yo estaba ahí sólo para recordarle las cosas que ahora no podía proveer.
Empecé una cruzada personal para salvar a mi marido, nuestro matrimonio y a mi misma. Empecé a cuidar de Jonathan. Cada vez que se deprimía, trataba de ayudarle a ver el valor en la pérdida de su compañía y nuestra ruina financiera para que saliera adelante, pero entre más empujaba, más se resistía y sumergía en su cueva. Sentía que tenía todas las respuestas y que si tan sólo me escuchara e hiciera lo que yo decía, él, y nosotros, estaríamos bien. ¡Hablando de desilusiones! Mis guías han de haber estado agitando sus cabezas asombradas pensando que todo their training had been for nothing. * Sigh ... *
After several weeks without any change, I began to believe that he wanted to continue being a victim, drowning in self-pity. Do not want to get up and move on. The more she resisted my attempts to care for, the more I was terrified and furious. I became very critical of him and everything he did. With all my training in higher dimensional knowledge, could not change no matter how hard I tried and finally had to admit my defeat. I realized that her depression, feelings of defeat, self-hatred, and disease were more overweight beyond my ability to resolve them. I thought our marriage was over, and therefore it was time for me to leave. I did not realize he was reflecting me.
Once I gave up, I cried desperately nights. I was really scared and rash on my finger is expanded to the next. Kansas missed, my heart was broken, I had left my beloved child so far and I was unsuccessful in my marriage. It was one of the lowest periods of my life, I was filled with ice cream and chips.
Finally recovered my strength because I am a survivor of heart. I did the only thing I had my training taught to do and was asking for help to my soul and then stay open and willing to follow his advice. Had been well trained at this since I started my work for the Council Nibiruan few years ago and knew that when all else failed, was the only thing that could have unequivocally. Then I called my soul and said "Maebel Lee, what is it? Why I can not make it go away? I leave this hell but I can not see any way out! Please Show it to me!
Mi Alma responded immediately to my request showing my reflection in the behavior of my husband. Unfortunately, I was so blind to see it, but my soul did not surrender. Physical symptoms continued during September and October. Finally, in early November after much struggle and pain. I got it.
had been invited by Standing Elk to Knowledge Conference to Star in Sedona, Arizona. The day we went to the conference, I got my engagement ring in his right hand. I plan to return the appropriate finger of my presentation just before the Sabbath and keep it there until I went to the conference in the afternoon. That way I could hide the fact that there was a problem in my marriage. But something happened on Saturday morning that would eliminate completely the need to change fingers.
My Soul gave me a dream that I got in touch with the fears that were causing the rash. I dreamed about my parents and their marriage, I finally understood that my fear of commitment and a rash on my ring came from my fear of ending up like them, and that their marriage could be compared to civil war.
was gaining weight and I tried for that. And I was afraid Jonathan rejected and criticized me for this, as my mother had been for my father. My mother was a beautiful and thin when she married but within 5 years he became fat, sick and bitter. Their marriage had become a prison and felt with 4 children, there was no exit. I used to tell myself "God, do not let me end up like my mom." Now what was not exactly how it was?
My father could not bear the figure of overweight people, made him feel sick, and here he was with a wife he no longer felt attracted, but could not leave without suffering a fate worse of guilt overwhelming. His departure was hiding in their books and work leaving my mother abandoned, resentful and rejected. For me, her dating life was a fate worse than death. Of course it was barely 25 when he had fallen into the marriage. As I thought
in all this, I realized that the answer had to be found in changing my behavior and perspective on this issue. If you could change the way we saw our signs, integrate the fear that represented me apart to free myself from this Dark Night of the Soul.
Then I started again to use my training starting with the rash, I took each symptom through the Formula of Compassion. I found the lesson that the rash was helping me to see. I was showing that he was afraid of a big commitment and did not have agreements with my inner child or my partner to face them. Then I made the deal with my inner child to accept being overweight as their way of protecting our body until I could do for us.
saw the pain in my upper back as my teacher, teaching me that when I take the responsibility for the emotional state of someone else, that burden becomes too heavy and after a while, very painful. No need to fix the pain of Jonathan.
The neck pain was teaching me how stubborn he was about letting go and allowing Jonathan was in his depression and pain. I did not want to feel your pain, so I tried to get him out. I was not accepted as it was, but instead, was trying to get out of the way I wanted it to be. Not very loving me.
And finally, there was pain in the knee. Wow, what a teacher. I was showing that was actually afraid to change direction and create a new way of being, a way to allow others to be who they were and be in pain but I rescued them. It was about learning to let them be in their lessons without trying to take them out.
And then there was the depression of Jonathan, who was the most feared. I found that the value of his depression was that allowed him to avoid the pain of guilt and shame and survive until it could be responsible for their choices and find the value in them. Depression was a kind of morphine and helped him go through weeks of hell following the collapse of their world.
Once I understood these things, and not rejecting, but valuing them, I felt a great appreciation for Jonathan and the role he had been acting for me. To become the epitome of all that fear in a partner - anger, depression, weakness, obesity and illness, I had the opportunity to experience my worst fears and integrate them. Now I appreciate these symptoms in him and myself, because I am not afraid or fear being rejected by them. Each of them had great value as teachers. And thanks to these fears, manifesting as symptoms, because of what my parents had experienced and resolved never to this day, I found the reason I was afraid of commitment. But now I found the value in them, and not afraid of commitment. The fear that had imprisoned me in my Dark Night of the Soul had freed me!
silently in my heart, I took Jonathan through the Formula of Compassion and then freed him from the role. I then spoke with Jonathan telling him my dream and realization. I thanked him for loving me enough to cope with the disease, overweight and self-condemnation he suffered for me to accept this behavior and no longer feared. I felt gratitude y aprecio dentro de mi corazón.
Mi Noche Oscura del Alma había terminado y había sido una lección muy poderosa sobre el compromiso. ¡Whew! Pero ahora sabía con certeza profunda que Jonathan me amaba y que me podía comprometer en nuestro matrimonio. Puse mi anillo de compromiso de vuelta en su dedo y caminé hacia el brillo de una bella mañana en Sedona.
Han pasado casi dos años desde esa Noche Oscura del Alma y el salpullido ha regresado de vez en cuando junto con otros síntomas. Cuando por primera vez regresaron, estaba bastante enojada sintiendo que había retrocedido y toda mi clarificación y trabajo de integración habían sido en vano. Pero una vez más my guide came to my rescue and explained for the umpteenth time that our fears are contained in emotional blocks that are onions. With each experience, integrate and peel another layer. Often forget this.
Jonathan and I use our training in Multidimensional Guides Compassion to deal with each lesson and in so doing we increase our confidence and commitment to us. To this day, April 11, 2000, we only experience these symptoms from time to time. Each time a new layer is to be released. We have learned to accept it and not worry about that because there is no place where we can be sure that in our marriage. Shocking, right?
Summary: I feel that would help outline the steps I took to integrate my fear of commitment. Here they are:
1. Using the steps of the Formula of Compassion, I asked my soul to show me the lesson I was trying to learn. I asked him to teach me in 24 hours or less and in a way that could not misunderstand. I also added an addendum requesting that if for some reason did not see me follow her showing up and I knew it would no longer receive. (Mi Alma showed it to me immediately. Only you could not see)
2. Remained open for the answer (read the Key to Open the Door). I also looked up the connection between my physical symptoms and my lesson, for example, fear. I used the book by Louise Hay, Heal your body to give me some clues. My soul gave me the rest.
3. Using the second step of the Formula of Compassion I looked for other actors in this lesson and found my husband was playing the role of marital my worst nightmare.
4. Remained open and the time spent waiting for my inner child could see that I could survive this experience (read The relationship Soul / Ego). During this time I had frequent conversations with her to allow you to express your fears about this situation continuous. At the end of every conversation we confirm our commitment to continue the lesson until the fear was gone (not always easy, but simple to do).
5. Continue asking my soul for the answer and when he had spent enough time to know my inner child had survived and could continue to survive with this fear, the answer came back in the form of a clear dream about my parents.
6. With the understanding of sleep, was ready to see the aspect of me that Jonathan was reflected through their behavior. She was willing to see that for 4 months had experienced this fear and had survived. I spoke to my inner child and remember that there was no need to fear this more, and doing, we integrate this fear. We also changed our behavior. We began to allow others to feel their pain without need for repair. This eliminated the symptoms I was having.
7. Jonathan shed their role from my heart. I also freed myself.
8. Lesson complete.
Jelaila StarrConsejo Nibiruanowww.NibiruanCouncil.com
Postscript: The tools listed are the training I received from my guides and they are written as series pamphlets titled Multidimensional Guides Compassion. They are the tools of higher dimension given to me by my guides Nibiruan 9D Council and have changed my life. Learn more about these powerful tools at our website: www.NibiruanCouncil.com
About the author: Jelaila Starr is a channel, speaker and internationally known Nibiruan Council of the Galactic Federation. She is the author of We the Nibiruans and Bridge of Reunion. Through her lectures, workshops, articles and media appearances, Jelaila message has touched the hearts of people around the world providing hope and understanding.
As with Don psychic / intuitive counselor, Jelaila works with individuals to assist them with emotional clearing, sound relationships, and DNA Recoding. Jelaila's unique approach enables its customers to discover who they are, what they came to do and how. Jelaila can be reached at (816) 444-4364. Email: jelaila@NibiruanCouncil.com Website: www.NibiruanCouncil.com
Translation: Myriam Ojeda, Mexico City, ojeda_myriam@hotmail.com
0 comments:
Post a Comment